Continuation:
The marriage contract is a grave and weighty affair; its benefits and harms rebound upon the entire family. I therefore recommend acting on the Almighty’s words, “Their affairs are conducted by mutual consultation among themselves” (Q 42:38). The matter should be examined from every angle, discussed by all respected members of the household, and preceded by istikhāra, asking Allah for guidance and success, after which they do what they deem best and most fitting.
Once the bride has been properly informed and her understanding assured, the final decision rests with her. Conducted in this manner, harmony between the spouses and their two families is far more likely.
Chapter: A man may not remarry his thrice-divorced wife until she first marries another husband.
ʿĀʾishah narrated: “The wife of Rifaʿah al-Qurazī came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, ‘I was married to Rifaʿah al-Qurazī, and he divorced me with a final, irrevocable divorce. After him I married ʿAbd al-Raḥmān ibn al-Zubayr, but all he has is like the dangling fringe of a garment.’ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ smiled and said, ‘Do you wish to return to Rifaʿah? No, not until you taste his honey and he tastes yours.’
“Abu Bakr was present, and Khālid ibn Saʿīd was standing at the door waiting for permission to enter. Hearing her words, he called out, ‘O Abu Bakr, do you not hear what this woman is openly saying in the presence of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ?’ ”
Unfamiliar terms:
• “fa-batta ṭalāqī” – with a doubled t. Literally “to cut off”; here it means he pronounced the third and final of the three divorces, as in Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: “so he divorced her with the last of three divorces.” (1)
• “al-Zubayr” – zāʾ with fatḥa, then a bāʾ with kasra, followed by yāʾ and rāʾ.
• “hudbah” – hāʾ with ḍamma, dāl sukun, then bāʾ: the un-woven edge of a garment, likened to an eyelash; she meant his male organ was limp and unable to erect.
• “ʿusaylatah” – ʿayn with ḍamma, sīn with fatḥa: diminutive of ʿaslah, a euphemism for intercourse, its pleasure likened to the sweetness of honey.