Al-Tabarani narrated it in al-Awsat (1/175), from Abu Bakr ibn ʿAbd Allah ibn Abi Maryam, from ʿAtiyyah ibn Qays al-Kilaʿi, who said: Muʿawiyah ibn Abi Sufyan proposed marriage to Umm al-Dardaʾ after the death of Abu al-Dardaʾ. Umm al-Dardaʾ said: “I heard Abu al-Dardaʾ say: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, say…” He then cited it. She said: “I would never choose anyone in place of Abu al-Dardaʾ.” Muʿawiyah then wrote to her: “Devote yourself to fasting, for it suppresses desire.”

I say: This chain is weak because of Abu Bakr ibn Abi Maryam, who suffered confusion in his later years. Al-Haythami identified this as its defect (4/270), though he also attributed it to al-Kabir. Through this same route, it was also narrated by Abu Bakr al-Kalabadhi in Miftah al-Maʿani (fol. 181/2) and by Ibn ʿAsakir in Tarikh Dimashq (19/281/2). In sum, the hadith is strong when its two routes are considered together, and its version attributed to the Prophet is authentic. It has other routes, both attributed to the Prophet and attributed to a Companion, in Ibn ʿAsakir (19/281/2), from Abu al-Dardaʾ. It also has two corroborating reports attributed to Companions.

The first is from Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him. Ibn ʿAsakir (19/193/1) narrated it through Kathir ibn Hisham, from ʿAbd al-Karim, from ʿIkrimah: “Asmaʾ bint Abu Bakr was married to al-Zubayr ibn al-ʿAwwam, and he was harsh toward her. She went to her father and complained to him about this, so he said: ‘My daughter, be patient. If a woman has a righteous husband, and he dies and she does not marry after him, they will be reunited in Paradise.’” Its narrators are trustworthy, but its chain is disconnected, since ʿIkrimah did not live to meet Abu Bakr—unless he received it from Asmaʾ bint Abu Bakr. And Allah knows best.

The other is from ʿIsa ibn ʿAbd al-Rahman al-Sulami, from Abu Ishaq, from Silah, from Hudhayfah, may Allah be pleased with him, who said to his wife: “If you wish to be my wife in Paradise, then do not marry after me. For a woman in Paradise belongs to the last of her husbands in this world. This is why Allah forbade the wives of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, from marrying after him, because they are his wives in Paradise.”