her husband to another town for medical treatment, and her husband were to die there—in a place that is not her own—we would tell her, “Go back to your hometown, for that house was never your permanent residence in the first place.”
Fifth: beautification, the use of kohl, and anything similar. Even if we suppose that she has an eye ailment, she may not apply kohl except with sabr (aloe) or something comparable that has no color at all; she may place it on at night and wipe it off in the morning, and that only when truly needed—otherwise she must leave it altogether. For this reason a woman once came to the Prophet and said, “Messenger of Allah, my daughter’s husband has died and her eye is hurting—may we put kohl on her?” He replied, “No.” Although her eye was in pain, he still said, “No.” Ibn Ḥazm (d. 456 AH) even stated, “Were she to lose her eye, she still may not use kohl under any circumstances,” because the Prophet was asked about a woman whose eye was diseased and he refused to grant permission for kohl. The same ruling applies to rouge, make-up, and similar adornments.
Unscented soap, however, is permissible, as is washing the hair and cleansing the skin. As for the common notion that a mourning widow may bathe only once a week—from Friday to Friday, the so-called “widow’s bath”—it has no basis whatsoever. Likewise, the belief that she may not step into the courtyard at night but must remain under a roof is groundless; she may go wherever she wishes inside the house. Another outright superstition says that the moon is a man with eyes, a nose, and a mouth, and that the widow must not go out under the moonlight because “the man in the moon” will be looking at her. This is simply false. She may go out on moonlit nights and at any other time—provided she does not leave the house itself.
A further misconception among laypeople is that she may speak only to her unmarriageable kin (maḥrams). This, too, is wrong. She may speak with whomever she wishes: anyone who requests permission at the door, anyone who calls her on the telephone—there is nothing wrong with that. She may speak to the husband’s relatives or to her own relatives who are not maḥrams; there is absolutely no sin in doing so. In matters of speech she is like any other woman; talking itself is not forbidden. She must only heed Allah’s words: “So do not be soft in speech, lest the one in whose heart is a disease should be moved to desire” (33:32). And Allah is the One who grants success.