Mourning abstention (iḥdād) means giving up adornment, perfume, and anything else that people regard as a source of delight, joy, or luxury—and persisting in it is forbidden. In the pre-Islamic era, if someone beloved to them died, they would stay away from fragrance and beautification and the like for as long a period as they themselves decided. In the ḥadīth related by his two wives, Umm Ḥabībah and Zaynab bint Jaʿsh (may Allah be pleased with them), the Prophet ﷺ made it clear that iḥdād for any deceased person may not exceed three days, except in the case of a husband. The Prophet ﷺ therefore granted a concession permitting iḥdād for three days only; anything beyond that is impermissible.

For example, when a man’s son dies and he is overcome with grief, what is required of him is patience and the hope of reward, while allowing life to proceed as normal: he should go to his shop if he is a shopkeeper, to his farm if he is a farmer, to his office if he is an employee, and to his school if he is a teacher or a student. The essential point is that none of his daily affairs should be disrupted. This is what the Sharīʿah prescribes, this is the Sunnah, this is most appropriate and most considerate for the individual—that he not practice iḥdād for anyone, not even for his son, father, mother, or brother. The matter belongs to Allah alone; His is the dominion and to Him is all praise. He is the Owner, and He is praised under all circumstances.

There is therefore no need for mourning abstention: be patient and seek reward. Do not say, “Do not grieve,” for every person with a living heart will grieve; rather, say, “Be patient and hope for reward,” and carry on as though nothing had happened—do not undermine any part of your worldly affairs. This is what is best, most fitting, most compassionate, and most excellent. Yet souls may find this difficult, especially when the calamity is great