Then the author cites the two reports transmitted from Ibn ʿUmar and Ibn Masʿūd—may Allah be pleased with them both—on this point, showing that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ forbade two people to confer privately while excluding a third. That is, when three are present it is impermissible for two of them to whisper together, because the third will be hurt and wonder, “Why did they not speak to me?”—and that is if he thinks well of them; he might just as easily suspect them of something. Even with a good opinion he will ask, “Do I mean so little that they converse without me?” Hence the Prophet ﷺ prohibited the practice, and it is undoubtedly part of proper etiquette.
Someone might object, “Suppose my companion and I must discuss a private matter that I do not want anyone else to hear?” Our reply is: do as ʿAbd Allah ibn ʿUmar—may Allah be pleased with him—used to do. Invite a fourth person so you become—how many?—four. Then two may speak privately while the other two converse together. This was Ibn ʿUmar’s practice and is exactly what the hadith implies: “until you mingle with other people,” as stated in Ibn Masʿūd’s narration. Once the group has mixed with others, the difficulty disappears.
A similar form of private whispering occurs when three people are present, two of whom know a foreign language that the third does not. If the two begin speaking in that language while the third listens but cannot understand, the effect is the same: it saddens him—“Why have they left me and started talking alone?”—and he may even harbor suspicions. For example, one person speaks to another in English while the third knows no English; this is equivalent to secret conversation, for raising their voices does him no good. Thus it is forbidden.
If someone then asks, “What if he genuinely needs something from his brother?” we say: let him do as Ibn ʿUmar did. If that is impossible and they cannot find a fourth, the two should first seek the third man’s permission, asking, “Do you allow us to speak together?” If he grants permission the matter is permissible, and he will feel neither hurt nor concerned.
Allah is the One who grants success.