As for the one who is greeted, it is incumbent upon him to reply in the same manner. This is an obligation, for Allah the Exalted says: “When you are greeted with a greeting, respond with one that is better, or return it in like manner” (Qur’an 4:86). Therefore, if someone says, “as-salāmu ʿalaykum,”

and you answer, “Ahlan wa marḥaban, Abū so-and-so! May Allah bless you—we are delighted that you have come… please, come in,” all of these courteous words do not replace a single required phrase—namely: “wa ʿalaykum as-salām.”

You must say, “wa ʿalaykum as-salām.” If you do not, you are sinful and bear a burden, because you have abandoned a duty. Allah has commanded: “…respond with a better greeting, or return it in kind.”

Likewise, if the person greets you in a loud, clear voice, do not reply by “greeting with your nose”—a barely audible mumble. That is impermissible, for you have neither matched nor bettered his greeting. The verse, “respond with a better greeting, or return it in kind,” covers both the wording itself and the manner in which it is delivered.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also said, “Feed people.” Whom should one feed? Those who are in need. Feeding your own family—wives, sons, daughters, and everyone under your roof—is the most excellent form of feeding; it surpasses giving charity to a poor person, because feeding your family fulfills an obligation, and fulfilling an obligation is better than engaging in