Saʿd ibn ʿUbādah, who was with him—and he was the one most sensitive on such occasions—exclaimed, “Messenger of Allah, what is this?” He assumed that the Prophet wept out of panic. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, replied, “This is mercy,” meaning that he wept out of compassion for the child, not in objection to what had been decreed.

He then said, “Allah shows mercy only to those of His servants who are merciful.” This is clear proof that it is permissible to cry out of pity for the afflicted.

If you see someone stricken in mind or body and you weep out of mercy for him, that is a sign that Allah has placed compassion in your heart; and when Allah implants mercy in a person’s heart, that person is among the servants upon whom He bestows His mercy. We ask Allah to have mercy on us and on you by His grace.

This ḥadīth also establishes the obligation of patience, for the Messenger of Allah said, “Tell her to be patient and to seek her reward.”

It further shows that the wording he used for condolences is the best wording—better than the phrase some people use: “May Allah magnify your reward, perfect your condolence, and forgive your deceased.” Although certain scholars have recommended that formula, the wording chosen by the Prophet—“Be patient and seek the reward, for to Allah belongs what He takes and what He gives, and everything with Him is for an appointed term”—is superior, because when the bereaved hear it they are more readily convinced.

In truth, offering condolences is not a celebration, as some common folk imagine when they arrange gatherings, set up chairs, light candles, bring in reciters, and provide food. Rather, it is meant to console and strengthen the one who has been afflicted so that he may persevere. Consequently, if a person has not actually been affected by the calamity—such as when a paternal cousin dies and he is indifferent—no condolences are offered to him. Hence he said