has a nocturnal emission (ihtilam)?” The Prophet replied, “Yes, if she sees the fluid.”

This is the sort of question that even a man might feel embarrassed to raise—especially in a public gathering—yet Umm Sulaym’s modesty did not keep her from seeking knowledge of her religion and deepening her understanding. Accordingly, the kind of bashfulness that prevents someone from asking about a matter he is obliged to inquire about is blameworthy; in fact, it should not be called modesty at all. Rather, it is weakness and cowardice, and it comes from Satan. So ask about your religion and do not be ashamed.

As for issues that are not connected to obligatory duties, modesty is better than the lack thereof. Among the words that people have inherited from the earliest prophetic teachings is: “If you feel no shame, then do as you wish.” Opposed to modesty is what some people nowadays do in the marketplaces—vulgar, filthy speech or reprehensible actions and the like. Therefore, a person must be modest except regarding a matter he is required to know; in such cases he should never be shy about the truth.