He said, “And the best of you are the best to their women.” What is meant is that the best of you are those who are best to their family, as the Sunan relate that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The best of you are those who are best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family.” A person, therefore, should be the finest companion, the most loving friend, and the best nurturer to his household, for they are more entitled to your good character than anyone else. Begin with those nearest to you, then those next after them.

In stark contrast, some people—today and before today—behave courteously with others yet are ill-mannered with their own families; we seek Allah’s protection. This runs counter to the guidance of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. What is correct is to show good character to your family and to others as well, although your family deserves it most.

For that reason, when ʿĀʾishah was asked, “What would the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, do in his house?” she replied, “He was in the service of his family,” meaning he helped them with household tasks. He would even milk the sheep for his family, mend his sandals, and patch his clothes. In the same way, a person should be the very best of companions to his family.

9/629 – ʿĀʾishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, say, “Through his good character a believer attains the rank of one who fasts by day and stands in prayer by night.” Reported by Abū Dāwūd.