Except when the dish contains a variety of foods—for instance, if there is a piece of meat on the side that is not directly before you—then there is no harm in reaching for it. The same applies if there is some squash or a similar item one seeks in particular; in such cases it is permissible to eat from the part that is not in front of you. This is because Anas ibn Malik ⦗may Allah be pleased with him⦘ said, “I once ate with the Prophet ﷺ, and he would follow the dubbāʾ (gourd) around the rim of the bowl.”

Dubbāʾ means gourd; “he would follow it” indicates that he would pick the pieces up from different spots on the platter to eat them, and there is nothing blameworthy in doing so.

This ḥadith contains several benefits. A person should train his children in the proper manners of eating and drinking, as well as the appropriate words to say, just as the Prophet ﷺ did with his ward. It also highlights the Prophet’s fine character and teaching method: he did not rebuke the boy when the latter’s hand moved around the dish; rather, he instructed him gently, calling out kindly, “Young man, mention the name of Allah and eat with your right hand.”

Know, moreover, that when such etiquette is taught to children, it is not forgotten. A child will retain what you teach him while he is young, whereas if you wait until he is older he may forget—or he may resist you to some degree. So long as he is small and you instruct him, he will be more receptive. Whoever fears Allah concerning his children, they will fear Allah concerning him; but whoever neglects his children’s due, they will neglect his rights when he later needs them.