sent ‘Abd Allah ibn Rawahah to the people of Khaybar to estimate the yield of their date-palms. When Khaybar had been conquered, the Prophet ﷺ had arranged with its inhabitants that they would spare him the expense of cultivation, tend the palms and the farmland, and receive half of the produce. He therefore used to dispatch someone to assess the harvest, and on this occasion he sent ‘Abd Allah ibn Rawahah. After estimating the crop he said to them, “O assembly of Jews, you are the most detested of people to me—you killed the prophets of Allah and fabricated lies against Allah. Yet my hatred for you will not drive me to treat you unfairly. I have valued the harvest at twenty thousand wasqs of dates: if you wish, it is yours; if you refuse, it is mine.” They replied, “It is by virtue of this justice that the heavens and the earth stand firm.”
The point is that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ commanded people to judge with justice and equity, saying, “A believing man must not loathe a believing woman,” meaning that he should not despise her because of her traits; if he dislikes one trait, he will be pleased with another.
Suppose, for example, she responds curtly to you once—yet she has shown you kindness many times. She may err on a single night, yet she has behaved well on countless nights. She may mishandle the children on one occasion, yet she has treated them properly on many more. Therefore, when your wife treats you badly, do not focus on the present offence alone. Look to the past, look to the future, and judge with fairness. The principle the Prophet ﷺ mentioned regarding one’s wife applies equally to anyone with whom you have dealings, friendship, or the like: if he wrongs you on a certain day