that a person can never achieve absolute justice between his wives, no matter how eager he may be, because certain matters—such as affection, emotional leaning, and similar feelings that dwell in the heart—lie outside human choice.

By contrast, whatever is outward and physical can be dealt with equitably: providing equal maintenance, dividing his time so that this wife receives her night and that wife receives hers, supplying clothing and the like. All of that is attainable. What is in the heart, however, is beyond a person’s control, and thus he cannot be taken to task for it.

For this reason Allah, Exalted is He, says, “So do not incline completely and leave her as though suspended,” meaning: do not abandon the wife from whom you turn away, leaving her “suspended” between heaven and earth with no settled state. When a woman sees her husband favoring her co-wife, she suffers deeply and her heart is consumed; she becomes like one hanging between sky and earth, finding no rest.

He then says, “leave her as though suspended. But if you set matters right and fear Allah, then Allah is ever All-Forgiving, Most Merciful,” that is, if you pursue reconciliation and God-consciousness, Allah will remain All-Forgiving, Most Merciful—He will pardon you for what you cannot control, though He will hold you accountable for what you can.

These two verses, along with other passages from the Quran and the Sunnah, all emphasize gentleness toward women, attentiveness to their needs, and living with them in the best possible manner. A man should not insist on receiving his full due from her, for she cannot deliver it perfectly; rather, he should overlook and pardon.