obey him, for that would entail abandoning a duty, and there is no obedience to any created being when it involves disobedience to the Creator. Or suppose he swears that you must not visit your mother—whom he has divorced and with whom he now has bitter disputes—and he says to you, “By Allah, you shall not go to your mother.” Do not obey him, for he is sinful in blocking you from the duty of keeping the ties of kinship. Maintaining kinship ties is obligatory, and dutifulness toward both parents is obligatory; therefore, do not comply.

The same applies if he swears that you are not to visit any of your brothers, paternal uncles, or other relatives: do not obey him, and do not honor his oath, even though he is your father, because maintaining the family bond is obligatory. It is impermissible for him to swear such an oath in the first place. Whoever maintains those ties, Allah will maintain him, and whoever severs them, Allah will sever him. Once no legitimate barrier remains, the better course is to show kindness to them.

Another question arises when both parties swear opposing oaths. This happens often with a guest who arrives and says, “By Allah, you must not slaughter an animal for me,” whereupon you, the host, reply, “By Allah, I will slaughter for you!” Which oath should be fulfilled—the first or the second? The first should be honored, because its claim is prior and established. As for the second—the host who swore to slaughter—we say to him: do not slaughter, and make expiation for your oath, for the first oath has the stronger and earlier claim.

There is yet another matter that warrants attention. Some foolish people, when a guest comes, swear an oath of divorce that no animal be slaughtered for him; he says, “If you slaughter for me, my wife is divorced”—or, if he has several wives, “my wives are divorced.” The host then counters, “And I swear by divorce that I will slaughter for you!” This is a serious error. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Whoever wishes to swear an oath should swear by Allah, or …”