al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) was among those who most loathed what the Messenger—peace and blessings be upon him—had brought. Then Allah guided him, made him one of His close friends, and he became the second leader of this nation.

Therefore never lose hope. Do not say, “I simply cannot stand this man—neither to exchange greetings with him nor even to hear his voice, and I could never go to him.” Go to him nonetheless and do not despair, for hearts lie in the hand of Allah. We ask Allah to guide us and you to His straight path.

Someone might object: “Hatred is an inner emotion, and emotional states—like love, for example—may be beyond human control. A person cannot just will himself to love someone, or to diminish or increase that love, except through underlying causes.” For this reason the Prophet—peace and blessings be upon him—when distributing his time among his wives, said, “O Allah, this is my apportionment concerning what I can control; so do not reproach me for what I cannot control,” referring to love. It is well known that the Messenger—peace be upon him—loved ʿĀʾishah (may Allah be pleased with her) more than his other wives, yet this was not by deliberate choice.

If another says, “Anger too is an emotion a person cannot master,” the answer is that every emotion arises from a cause. You love someone only for reasons—his faith, his benefit to people, his good character, his service to you, or any number of other factors. Remember those reasons and you will love him. Likewise, you hate someone only for a cause; call to mind the factors that warrant hatred and you will hate him. Nevertheless, a person should