Expiation for an Oath

Question: My brother wished to marry a woman from a certain family. Heated arguments then took place between him and my mother, and in the course of them my mother said, “A vow rests upon my neck that I will not attend your wedding.” A few moments later she recanted and did attend the wedding. She is now uncertain: has she incurred sin for that statement, given that she retracted her oath? And if she is at fault, what is the expiation? May Allah reward you.

Answer: First, a Muslim should not allow anger or dispute to push him into words that burden him; rather he ought to pause, think, and act with forbearance—especially a parent when dealing with a child.

With regard to what your mother did—swearing that she would not attend the wedding you had arranged by saying, “A vow is upon me,” or “A vow is upon my neck not to attend your wedding,” then feeling remorse, attending, and thereby violating what she had vowed—she must offer the expiation for an oath (kaffārat al-yamīn). That expiation is one of three things:

1. Feeding ten poor people, giving each person half a sāʿ (roughly 1.5 kg) of staple food;
2. Clothing ten poor people, giving each person one garment; or
3. Freeing a slave.

She may choose whichever of these three she prefers. If she is unable to do any of them—that is, if she cannot afford the food, the clothing, or the emancipation—then she must fast for three days, in accordance with the words of Allah, the Exalted:

“Allah will not call you to account for what is inadvertent in your oaths, but He will call you to account for the oaths you have sworn in earnest. The expiation for them is to feed ten poor people from the average of what you feed your own families, or to clothe them, or to free a slave. And whoever cannot find the means must fast three days. That is the expiation for the oaths you have sworn.” (al-Māʾidah 5:89).