case will she become unlawful to me? She has informed her father that I divorced her, and he in turn repudiated that divorce; after that we went back to living together as though nothing had happened. What is the ruling of the Sacred Law in this matter? If the utterance is deemed three divorces so that she is no longer lawful for me, is the sin upon me or upon her father? And in such a situation, does she remain forbidden to me until she marries another man who then divorces her, or—just as occurred—may she return to me before the ʿiddah (waiting period) has elapsed?
Answer: Divorce is a grave and serious matter. One must not treat it lightly or rely on the verdicts of just anyone or on the statements of the ignorant. The obligation is to refer the issue to the scholars and to ask the people of knowledge at the very moment the problem arises, in line with Allah’s words: “So ask the people of knowledge if you do not know” (Al-Anbiyāʾ 21:7).
As for your remaining in this predicament—continuing to live with your wife after you have made that pronouncement, sending off a question that may take a long time to reach someone and to be answered, or perhaps never answered at all, while you stay with your wife not knowing whether she is lawful for you or not—this is negligence, carelessness, and a wasting of rights.
With respect to your statement, “You are divorced, divorced, divorced,” which you repeated three times: if by that repetition you intended nothing more than emphasis and meant only a single divorce, merely reiterating the words for confirmation, then only one divorce is counted against you.
If, however, you did not intend emphasis, then it is counted as three separate divorces, and she is separated from you with a major irrevocable separation (baynūnah kubrā). She is not lawful for you again until she marries another husband in a genuine marriage motivated by desire for her; after he consummates the marriage and enjoys marital relations with her, he may then divorce her of his own accord—without any intent of making her permissible for you or engaging in legal stratagem. Rather, he must have married her intending that she remain his wife, and should he later divorce her, it is only because he no longer wishes to stay married to her.