The Expiation for Ẓihār
Question: A young married man had a dispute with his mother-in-law and said to her, “Your daughter is to me as my mother from this day on.” What is the ruling on this statement, and may he continue to live with his wife after saying it?
Answer: When he says, “Your daughter is to me as my mother,” he has in fact declared ẓihār, as though he were saying, “She is to me like my mother,” or, “She is to me as the back of my mother.” This is forbidden, for Allah the Exalted says, “Indeed they utter an objectionable statement and a falsehood” (al-Mujādilah 58:2). She is not his mother; she is his wife. It is unlawful for him to utter such words. Nevertheless, since he has done so, he may not approach her until he performs the expiation (kafārah) for ẓihār, which is, in the following order:
- Freeing a slave; if he cannot find one,
- then fasting two consecutive months; and if he is unable,
- then feeding sixty needy persons.
He must not have marital relations with his wife until he has carried out this expiation.
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Question: What is the ruling on a man who says to his wife, “You are like my mother,” or, “You are forbidden to me just as my sister is,” at a moment of intense anger over something she had done, bearing in mind that he did not intend to make her unlawful to himself but only wished to threaten and frighten her, and that he is ignorant of the ruling concerning the phrase “You are like my mother or my sister,” for his belief is that a woman becomes forbidden to her husband merely by a single word?