Majmu Fatawa - Salih Al-Fawzan - (2/583)

Majmu FatawaSalih Al-Fawzan

Showing Kindness to One’s Father—Even When He Has Wronged You

Question: A man divorced his wife while she was pregnant. After she gave birth, Allah blessed her with a son. She took the boy into her care, raised him, and looked after him until he grew up and married—all without the father offering a single penny of support. Is the son still obliged to treat his father well and to honour him, even though the father never provided for him and he never tasted a father’s compassion and mercy—or is he absolved of that duty?

Answer: Yes. The child still owes his father dutiful conduct, even if the father fell short in raising him or spending on him. Each of them—the parent and the child—has rights over the other. If the father neglected the child’s rights, he bears the burden of that sin; nevertheless, his own right over the child does not lapse. The son must honour him and show him kindness. Indeed, a Muslim is required to do good to anyone who wrongs him, let alone his own father. Allah the Exalted says: “The good deed and the evil deed are not equal; repel [evil] with that which is better” (Surah Fussilat 41:34). He also says: “Whoever pardons and reconciles—his reward is with Allah” (Surah al-Shura 42:40). A Muslim is commanded to meet ill-treatment with kindness toward people in general; how much more emphatically does this apply to his father.

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Dutifulness to One’s Father

Question: I am a nineteen-year-old youth. My father died while he was displeased with me, and the thought torments me day and night. What can I do now to set my conscience at ease? It is causing me great anguish.

Answer: A child must honour his father, avoid angering him, and never be undutiful to him, for a father’s right is momentous. If a person has wronged his father in any way, he must seek his pardon, ask his forgiveness, and obtain his consent while the father is still alive.

الإحسان إلى الوالد حتى لو أساء سؤال: رجل طلق زوجته، وهي حامل منه، وبعد أن وضعت، رزقها الله بابن فحضنته وقامت على تربيته ورعايته حتى كبر وتزوج دون أن يقدم له والده أي مساعدة أو نفقة، فهل يجب عليه الإحسان إلى والده وبره وإن لم يقم على رعايته، ولم يذق منه طعم حنان الأبوة، وشفقتها أم لا؟ الجواب: نعم، يجب على الولد حق لوالده، ولو كان الوالد قصر في تربيته والنفقة عليه، لأن كلا من الوالد والولد له حق على الآخر، فإذا قصر الوالد في حق الولد، فإن عليه ما تحمل ويأثم لذلك، ولكن لا يسقط حقه على الولد فعليه أن يبر به، وأن يحسن إليه، ومطلوب من المسلم أن يحسن إلى من أساء إليه ولو كان غير والده، قال الله تعالى: ﴿وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ﴾ [فصلت: ٣٤] ، وقال تعالى: ﴿فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ﴾ [الشورى: ٤٠] ، مطلوب من المسلم أن يقابل الإساءة بالإحسان مع الناس، فكيف مع والده، يكون الأمر آكد في هذا. *** البر بالوالد سؤال: أنا شاب في التاسعة عشر من العمر، توفي والدي وهو غير راض عني، وأصبح هذا الشعور يؤرقني ليل نهار، فما الذي يمكنني أن أعمله الآن لكي أريح ضميري الذي يعذبني كثيرًا؟ الجواب: يجب على الولد أن يبر بوالده، وأن لا يغضبه وأن لا يعقه، لأن حق الوالد عظيم، لكن إذا حصل من الإنسان مع والده شيء من الإساءة، فعليه أن يستحله وأن يستسمحه، ويطلب منه العفو إذا كان حيًّا.