the child to show courtesy toward him, to yield to him, and to revere and respect him. What you did was wrong; you must repent to Allah, seek His forgiveness, and ask your father to pardon you.

As for the oath you swore that your father should not pay anything—in order to cut off his generosity—you did not intend thereby to make anything unlawful, nor did you mean ẓihār (the pre-Islamic formula likening one’s wife to one’s mother) or divorce. Your only aim was to stop your father from spending on you out of anger and a desire to end his favors. If that was indeed your intention, which is what the circumstances suggest, then you are required to offer the expiation for an oath. Allah the Exalted says: “O Prophet, why do you forbid yourself what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking to please your wives? Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful … Allah has already ordained for you the dissolution of your oaths” (Sūrat al-Taḥrīm 66:1–2).

Question: But this was before the marriage contract was ever concluded?

Answer: It is still treated as an oath, and therefore the expiation for an oath is due.

However, if a person intended by such words ẓihār or divorce before he had even married—saying, for example, “If I marry any woman, or if I marry so-and-so, she is to me like my mother’s back,” or “If I marry any woman, or if I marry so-and-so, she is divorced”—the scholars differ: does a pronouncement of divorce or ẓihār issued prior to the marriage contract take effect or not?

According to the position of the (Hanbalī) school, as far as I know, it does not take effect, based on the ḥadīth, “Divorce is only in the hand of the one who possesses the leg,” meaning the husband.