, and during that party things took place that were wholly at odds with the teachings of our noble religion. All of this occurred against my will, for I had warned them beforehand and did not contribute anything toward the cost of the celebration. I now fear that the same may be repeated on the wedding night, and therefore I have cautioned them again, to the point that the matter has reached talk of annulling the marriage contract. Am I in the right to be this firm, even if it should end in divorce, or not? What is your advice to those who squander vast sums on wedding parties that yield no benefit—indeed, may earn them sin and provoke the anger of Allah?
Answer: First, we thank the questioner for his zeal for his religion and for his denunciation of wrongdoing, and we ask Allah to reward him and keep him steadfast in condemning evil. There is no doubt that holding such parties, whether at the time of the contract or at the consummation, runs counter to the Sharīʿah’s aim of making marriage easy, lightening its burden, and assisting people to marry by every possible means. Even if these gatherings were free of any forbidden elements, they would still weigh heavily on the groom and constitute extravagance and waste. When, however, they contain prohibited acts—such as singing, as the questioner mentioned, or perhaps mingling between men and women and other violations—then that is an additional crime and another evil.
In short, it is not permissible to organize such celebrations because of the extravagance and waste they entail, because they hinder marriage through exorbitant expenses, and because of the singing and music, which are among the gravest wrongs involved. Muslims must fear Allah and avoid such practices.
As for the celebration at the time of consummation, if it is free of forbidden matters and free as well of extravagance and waste—so that, for example, the women gather separately, modestly covered in a safeguarded place, and there is some beating of the duff to announce the marriage—then this is praiseworthy and is a Sunnah.