Obeying the Husband When It Involves Severing Family Ties

Question: May a wife comply with her husband if he orders her to cut off relations with her own family—her mother, father, sisters, and other relatives? On whom would the sin rest in that case? The husband insists on compelling his wife to abandon her family, citing a story from the Prophet’s time in which a woman did so until her father died, never seeing him again, and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) supposedly endorsed her action, saying: “Her father entered Paradise—or was forgiven—because of her obedience to her husband.” How reliable is this report, and what is the ruling on the matter?

Answer: Allah, Exalted and Majestic, has made the rights of parents and the rights of kin obligatory, and He has forbidden severing those ties. To cut off one’s parents is filial impiety (ʿuqūq), one of the gravest major sins after associationism, and to sever the ties of kinship in general is likewise a major sin. Allah the Most High says: “Would you, then, if you were given authority, spread corruption on earth and sever your bonds of kinship? Such are the ones whom Allah has cursed, making them deaf and blinding their sight” (Muḥammad 22–23).

Accordingly, it is impermissible for a husband to force his wife to break with her relatives without a legitimate reason. By doing so he is commanding her to commit a sin and to cut off her family, an act that carries great guilt and leads to many harms. Obedience to a husband—or to anyone who has a rightful claim over another—is only required in matters that are reasonable and lawful, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Obedience is only in what is right.”