As for anyone besides the husband and wife, it is not permissible for women to wash male bodies, nor for men to wash female bodies. Each gender is to be washed by members of the same gender—except for a young child who has not yet reached the age of discernment, for there is no harm in either men or women washing such a child.

***

Wailing over the Deceased

Question: A woman’s only grandson passed away. She wailed over him and tore her clothes. Later she wished to repent to Allah, and some people told her, “Fast three days of every month,” while others said, “Fast three days at the end of every lunar month.” Are these requirements for repentance, and what are the conditions of repentance?

Answer: First: It is well-known that wailing over the dead and tearing one’s clothes are practices of the Jāhiliyyah (the pre-Islamic days of ignorance). A Muslim is obliged to remain patient at the time of calamity and to seek the reward of Allah, as the Exalted says: “We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and loss of property, lives and fruits; but give glad tidings to the patient—those who, when disaster strikes them, say, ‘Indeed, we belong to Allah, and indeed, to Him we will return.’ They are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy, and it is they who are rightly guided.” (al-Baqarah 2:155–157).

Therefore a Muslim must be patient, speak only what pleases Allah, not tear the garment, and not raise the voice in wailing, for all of this belongs to the practices of the Jāhiliyyah. Since the questioner has repented—praise be to Allah—this is a good sign, and goodness is hoped for her; repentance alone is sufficient.

As for fasting, she is not required to fast. What is required of her is simply to repent.