and from corrupt doctrines. As for hesitation on our part—even though our hesitating arises from our not knowing how things will turn out—what Allah ascribes to Himself is not to be likened to what may be ascribed to any one of us. A person may hesitate at times because he is ignorant of the consequences, and at other times because each of the two alternatives contains both advantages and disadvantages. He is drawn to an act by the benefit it holds, yet dislikes it because of the harm bound up with it—not out of ignorance, but because a single matter can be obligatory from one angle and disliked from another, as the poet said:
Gray hair is loathed, yet I hate to leave it—
Marvel, then, at something hated and yet beloved!
This is like the sick man’s desire for a bitter medicine, and indeed everything the servant seeks of righteous deeds that the self finds distasteful belongs to this category. In the sound ḥadith it is stated:
“Paradise is surrounded by hardships, and Hell is surrounded by desires.”
The Exalted has said:
“Fighting has been prescribed for you, though it is hateful to you.” (al-Baqarah 2:216)
From this angle the meaning of the “hesitation” mentioned in the ḥadith becomes clear, for He said, “My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works until I love him.” The servant who attains this state becomes beloved to the Truth and loves Him in return. He first draws near through the prescribed duties, which he loves, and then exerts himself in the supererogatory acts that Allah loves and loves the one who performs them. Having done everything within his power of what the Truth loves, the Truth loves him, for their wills have converged: the servant loves what his Beloved loves and hates what His Beloved hates, while the Lord dislikes causing harm to His servant, His beloved. Consequently, the servant hates death, wishing instead to increase in the deeds his Beloved loves.
Yet Allah, glorified and exalted, has decreed death, and whatever He decrees He wills; it must inevitably occur. Thus the Lord wills the servant’s death because His prior decree has settled it, while at the same time He dislikes distressing His servant, and the distress in question comes to him through death. Hence death is willed by the Truth from one aspect and disliked by Him from another.
This is the very essence of “hesitation”: that the same single matter should be willed from one perspective and disliked from another, even though one side must ultimately predominate—as the will for death does—while the Lord’s aversion to distressing His servant remains. His will for the death of the believing servant whom He loves and whose grief He dislikes is not like His will for the death of the unbeliever whom He detests and indeed desires. End of his words, may Allah Most High have mercy on him.