It is preferable to pay the woman her entire dower before consummation, if possible. Paying part upfront and deferring the rest is permissible. The righteous and virtuous early generations kept dowers modest.

“‘Abd al-Rahmān ibn ‘Awf married during the lifetime of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, for a date stone’s weight of gold.”

They said that this weighed three and one-third dirhams. Sa‘īd ibn al-Musayyib married off his daughter for two dirhams, although she was among the finest unmarried women of Quraysh. This was after the caliph had sought her hand for his son, but Sa‘īd had refused to marry her to him. Reports that some of the early generations gave women large dowers concern those whose wealth had become abundant. They paid the entire dower before consummation, deferring none of it.

If a man is wealthy and has ample means, there is nothing wrong with his wishing to give his wife a large dower, as Allah Most High says:

“Even if you have given one of them a great amount of wealth, do not take any of it back.”

As for someone who incurs a dower obligation that he does not intend to discharge or cannot afford to pay, this is disliked, as explained above. Likewise, undertaking a large dower obligation without the means to fulfil it is not in keeping with the Sunnah. Allah knows best.

He—may Allah have mercy on him—was asked:

A man marries with a specified, recorded dower. He and his wife agree upon an upfront payment, which he pays, and then he dies. Is that upfront payment counted towards the total recorded dower?

He replied:

As for the cash payment that the husband makes to the woman upfront, as agreed upon, separate from the dower recorded in the marriage contract: if the husband gives her that amount, or part of it, or