(35) “If you fear a breach between them, appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from hers. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring harmony between them. Surely Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.”

That is, if you fear discord, separation, and estrangement between the spouses, such that each takes a side apart from the other, then “appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from hers.” That is, two legally accountable Muslim men who are upright and rational, who understand the circumstances between the spouses and know how to bring them together or separate them. This is understood from the word “arbiter,” for no one is fit to serve as an arbiter unless he possesses these qualities.

They should examine what grievance each spouse has against the other, then require each of them to fulfill the relevant obligations. If either spouse is unable to do so, they should persuade the other to accept whatever provision and good conduct can reasonably be managed. Whenever reconciliation and continued union are possible, they must not turn away from them.

If matters reach the point where their remaining together and setting things right would entail only hostility, estrangement, and disobedience to Allah, and the arbiters consider separation better, they may separate them. The husband’s consent is not required, as indicated by Allah’s designation of them as arbiters: an arbiter renders judgment even if (1) the party judged against is not pleased. Hence He said, “If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring harmony between them”—that is, through sound judgment and words that win hearts and foster harmony between the two spouses.