(34) “Men are caretakers of women because Allah has favored some of them over others and because they spend of their wealth. Righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in their husbands’ absence through Allah’s protection. As for those whose defiance you fear, admonish them, forsake them in bed, and strike them. But if they obey you, do not seek any way against them. Surely Allah is Most High, Most Great.”
Allah Most High informs us that men “are caretakers of women.” That is, they are responsible for ensuring that women fulfill Allah Most High’s rights by observing His obligations and refraining from wrongdoing; men must require this of them. They are also responsible for providing for their maintenance, clothing, and housing.
He then mentioned the reason for placing men in charge of women, saying, “because Allah has favored some of them over others and because they spend of their wealth.” That is, because of the advantages men have been given over women and the provision they confer upon them. Men have been favored over women in several respects: positions of authority are assigned specifically to men, as are prophethood and messengership; and certain forms of worship are specifically assigned to them, such as jihad, the Eid observances, and Friday congregational prayer. Allah has also specifically endowed them with reason, composure, patience, and an endurance that women do not possess to the same degree. He has likewise made them responsible for spending upon their wives; indeed, many financial obligations are assigned specifically to men, distinguishing them from women.
Perhaps this is the reason He said, “because they spend,” omitting the object so as to encompass every form of expenditure. All this shows that a man stands in relation to his wife like a governor and master, while she is in his keeping as a captive, prisoner, and servant. His duty, therefore, is to discharge the responsibility Allah has entrusted to him.
Her duty is to obey her Lord and her husband. Hence He said, “Righteous women are devoutly obedient”—that is, obedient to Allah Most High—“guarding in their husbands’ absence.” That is, they obey their husbands even in their absence, safeguarding themselves for them and protecting their property. This comes through Allah’s protection of them and His granting them success, not through any power of their own, for the soul persistently incites to evil. But whoever relies upon Allah, He will suffice him in whatever concerns him in his religion and worldly life.
He then said, “As for those whose defiance you fear”—that is, their raising themselves above obedience to their husbands by disobeying them in word or deed. A husband should discipline such a wife progressively, beginning with the least severe measure: “admonish them,” by explaining Allah’s ruling concerning obedience and disobedience to the husband, encouraging obedience, and warning against disobedience. If she desists, that is the desired outcome. Otherwise, the husband should forsake her in bed by neither lying beside her nor having intercourse with her, only for as long as is needed to achieve the intended purpose. If that does not suffice, he may strike her, but not severely. If any one of these measures achieves the intended purpose and they obey you, then “do not seek any way against them.” That is, you have obtained what you sought, so do not continue reproaching her for past matters or investigating faults whose disclosure would cause harm and give rise to evil.
“Surely Allah is Most High, Most Great.” That is, He possesses absolute highness in every sense and respect: the highness of His Essence, the highness of His rank, and the highness of His irresistible dominion. He is Most Great—none is greater, more majestic, or more magnificent than He—and He is great in His Essence and attributes.