al-Manṣūr—save only in the matter of giving, for he was swift and bountiful in his generosity. He cherished the jurists and the poets, rewarding them liberally, and no act of kindness or favor ever went unrequited in his court. The inscription on his signet ring read: There is no god but Allah. Each day he would perform one hundred rakʿahs of voluntary prayer until he left this world, unless sickness intervened.

The one man who could reliably make him laugh was Ibn Abī Maryam. He possessed a special talent for relating the news of the Ḥijāz and elsewhere. Al-Rashīd lodged him in the palace and allowed him to mix freely with his household. On one occasion the caliph roused him for the dawn prayer; he rose, performed his ablution, and caught up with al-Rashīd while he was reciting,
“And why should I not worship the One who created me?” (Qur’an 36:22).
Ibn Abī Maryam remarked, “By Allah, I have no idea.” Al-Rashīd burst out laughing and broke off the prayer; then he turned to him and said, “Woe to you! Keep away from the prayer and from the Qur’an—speak about anything else.”

Another day al-ʿAbbās ibn Muḥammad entered upon al-Rashīd carrying a barniyyah (1) of silver filled with ghāliyah, one of the finest perfumes. He extolled it at length, thanked the caliph profusely, and asked him to accept it; the caliph did so. Ibn Abī Maryam then asked al-Rashīd to let him have it, and the caliph handed it over.
Al-ʿAbbās exclaimed, “Woe to you! I brought something I had denied myself and my family, preferring with it the Commander of the Faithful—my master—and you have taken it?” Ibn Abī Maryam swore that he would perfume his backside with it; he scooped some out, smeared his anus, and rubbed the rest over all his limbs while al-Rashīd could hardly contain his laughter.

Then he said to a servant standing nearby, named Khāqān, “Fetch my boy.” Al-Rashīd said, “Summon his boy for him.” When the lad arrived Ibn Abī Maryam told him, “Take this ghāliyah to your lady (2), and tell her to scent her backside with it so that when I return to her I may lie with her.” At this the caliph was beside himself with laughter.

Ibn Abī Maryam then turned to al-ʿAbbās ibn Muḥammad and said, “You bring this ghāliyah and praise it before the Commander of the Faithful—when nothing falls from the sky nor sprouts from the earth except that it is under his control and within his grasp! More wondrous still: were the Angel of Death told, ‘Carry out whatever this man commands you,’ he would comply—and yet you praise this ghāliyah in his presence as though he were a greengrocer, a baker, a cook, or a date-seller!” Al-Rashīd nearly died from laughing so hard, and he ordered that Ibn Abī Maryam be given one hundred thousand dirhams.

Once, after al-Rashīd had taken some medicine, Ibn Abī Maryam asked to preside over the audience chamber for that day, pledging that whatever he received would be between him and the Commander of the Faithful. The caliph granted his request. Envoys then arrived from every direction, bringing gifts from Zubaydah, the Barmakids, and the senior commanders. His takings that day came to sixty thousand dinars. The next day al-Rashīd asked him what he had collected, and he told him. “And where is my share?” the caliph asked. Ibn Abī Maryam replied, “I have settled with you for it by giving you ten thousand apples.”

He summoned Abū Muʿāwiyah the blind, Muḥammad ibn Khāzim, so that he might hear ḥadīth from him. Abū Muʿāwiyah relates: “I never mentioned a ḥadīth in his presence but that he would say, ‘May Allah bless and grant peace to my master Muḥammad.’ And whenever he heard a ḥadīth containing an admonition he would weep until the tears soaked…"