Section
On Marriage during the Waiting Period

Allah Most High prescribed the waiting period to preserve lineages and safeguard chastity. He strictly prohibited concluding a marriage contract during it, because the contract is intended only as a means to intercourse, and this would open the way to confusion of lineages. He, Most High, says:

“Do not resolve upon a marriage contract until the prescribed term has come to an end.” [al-Baqarah: 235]

This means the end of the waiting period. He, Exalted is He, also prohibited exchanging promises during it, saying:

“Allah knows that you will think of them, but do not make secret promises to them; speak only in an honourable manner.” [al-Baqarah: 235]

Speaking honourably means alluding indirectly to an exchange of promises without stating it explicitly. Examples include saying: “I hold you in high regard,” “I am interested in you,” or “If something is decreed, it will come to pass,” and similar expressions. The substantive distinction between exchanging promises and speaking honourably is that fulfilling a promise is recommended, while breaking it is disliked. If someone merely hints at a promise rather than making it explicitly, he has undertaken nothing whose fulfilment is recommended, nor is leaving it unfulfilled disliked.

Section

The discussion of this subject falls into three sections: first, what is permissible during the waiting period in connection with proposals of marriage; second, what is disliked during it and the ruling concerning anyone who does it; and third, what is forbidden and the ruling concerning anyone who does it.

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What is permissible is to allude indirectly to a promise or an exchange of promises. This is the honourable speech that Allah Most High mentions in His Book. It takes such forms as a man saying to a woman—or each saying to the other—“If something is decreed, it will come to pass,” “I hope to marry you,” or “I have affection for you,” and similar expressions.