that it cannot be concluded using such wording; this is al-Shāfi‘ī’s view. The second is that it can be concluded using such wording; this is Abū Hanīfah’s position. The marriage is binding, and the customary dower is due, exactly as in a marriage contracted without a specified dower. A similar view has been related from Ibn Habīb. Mālik’s statements on this matter—may Allah have mercy on him—varied because the scholars before him had differed over it. Success comes from Allah, glorified and exalted is He.
Section
On what is recommended and disliked in marriage
It is recommended to announce the marriage, make it public, and provide a feast for it. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to ‘Abd al-Rahmān ibn ‘Awf: “Give a wedding feast, even if only with one sheep.” Anyone invited must attend. Abū Hurayrah reported that the Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever does not accept the invitation has disobeyed Allah and His Messenger.” This applies when the host issues his invitation in a proper manner. If he departs from what is proper in his wedding feast, his invitation carries no obligation, and there is no sin in declining it. Abū Hurayrah said: “The worst food is that of a wedding feast to which people are invited …”—to the end of the hadith. Providing food at a wedding feast is recommended to establish the marriage publicly and make it known, because witnesses die. This was stated by Rabī‘ah and others. For this reason, certain forms of entertainment are permitted at it, such as the frame drum, the large drum, and the like.
It is recommended to keep a marriage proposal private, and for the suitor, before making his proposal, to begin by praising Allah Most High and invoking blessings and peace upon His Prophet ﷺ. The person receiving the proposal should likewise begin his response in this manner. It is also recommended to congratulate the bridegroom upon his marriage and pray that it be blessed for him.
It is disliked for a man to propose to a woman to whom his brother has already proposed, because the Prophet ﷺ prohibited this. This applies once the prospective spouses are favourably inclined towards one another and close to agreement, even if they have not agreed upon a specified dower. Another opinion permits this until they have specified the dower. The first view is sounder and more widely held, because a marriage can be concluded and completed without a dower being specified. If a man nevertheless does this, his marriage is not annulled, but he must seek Allah Most High’s forgiveness and ask the other man to pardon him for what he has done. If the other man does not pardon him, he should let her go, since he spoiled the other man’s prospects after she had accepted him. If the first suitor marries her, well and good; otherwise, he may marry her again