beloved course is in fact harmful to him in both his livelihood and his ultimate return.
Likewise, a man may dislike a woman because of some trait she possesses, yet retaining her brings him abundant good that he does not perceive; and he may love a woman for some trait she possesses, yet keeping her brings him abundant harm that he does not perceive.
The human being—as his Creator has described him—is indeed unjust and ignorant. He must therefore not make his inclinations—his loves and aversions—the yardstick by which he gauges what harms or benefits him; rather, the true standard is what Allah has chosen for him through His commands and prohibitions. The most beneficial thing for him, unconditionally, is to obey his Lord both outwardly and inwardly, and the most harmful thing, unconditionally, is to disobey Him, outwardly and inwardly. Hence, when he stands in sincere obedience and servitude to Him, everything that befalls him—even what he dislikes—turns out to be good for him; but if he abandons obedience and servitude, every pleasant thing he enjoys is in fact bad for him.
Whoever attains a sound knowledge of his Lord and insight into His names and attributes knows with certainty that the disliked events that strike him and the ordeals that befall him contain kinds of benefits and advantages that his knowledge and reflection cannot reckon. Indeed, the servant’s benefit in what he dislikes is greater than his benefit in what he loves; for, in most cases, the welfare of souls lies in the things they find disagreeable, just as their harms and the causes of their ruin generally lie in the things they desire.
Consider, then, a skilled gardener who plants an orchard and tends it with watering and care until its trees bear fruit. He then sets to work pruning its limbs and cutting some of its branches, knowing that if he were to leave it as it is, its fruit would not improve. He grafts it with a tree of superior fruit; and when the graft has taken, united, and produced its fruit, he proceeds to trim it further, removing its weak branches that sap its strength. He makes it taste the pain of cutting and iron for the sake of its own welfare and perfection, so that its fruit may become wholesome.