• After commanding that Allah’s right—which stands above every other right—be fulfilled, He next instructed that the rights of those among His creatures who are entitled to them be honoured, giving priority to the most important of them. He said: “and show kindness to parents.” In practice this means: speak to them with noble, gentle words, and serve them in deed by obeying them, avoiding any disobedience, guarding against offending them, providing for their upkeep, honouring those connected to them, and maintaining the ties of kinship, for every relative you have is related to you only through them. Allah also says: “If either or both of them reach old age while in your care, never say to them ‘Uff!’ nor repel them; instead, address them with noble words. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was small.’” (17:23-24)

• The unrestricted command to treat parents with excellence therefore embraces everything people regard as beneficence, and that will differ with times, circumstances and individuals. Implicit within it is a prohibition against the opposite of kindness, and this takes two forms:
– Abuse and filial impiety: causing them verbal or physical harm, or neglecting any of the rights that are incumbent upon you.
– Withholding kindness while also withholding harm; this too is counted as impiety. A child may not claim, “If I discharge my basic duties toward my parents and avoid disobeying them, I have fulfilled their rights.” Rather, he must extend to them all the kindness he is able, so that he attains the rank of the righteous who excel in honouring their parents.

• His words, “as they raised me when I was small,” point to some of the reasons that make dutifulness obligatory: both parents shared in nurturing your body and soul—feeding, clothing and sheltering you, attending to all your needs, teaching and guiding you, and compelling you to obey Allah while cultivating noble manners and praiseworthy character.