and remind them of the punishment that conduct incurs, the rights they stand to forfeit, and the fact that their husbands are then permitted to forsake them and even to strike them.
If the admonition and reminder succeed, that is the desired outcome and harmony will be restored, unmarred by any lingering discord. But if the reminder produces no benefit, then forsake them in bed: do not sleep beside them, nor approach them for intercourse or any other form of intimacy. Perhaps the estrangement will prove effective, yet it must last only as long as is necessary to achieve its aim. For the purpose of forsaking is to benefit and discipline the one forsaken, not to soothe the ego, as the unwise do when their wives—or anyone else—oppose them. Failing to obtain what they want, such men maintain a prolonged boycott, remain aggrieved, reproach those who did not concede to their wishes, and end up harboring rancor, one of the blameworthy traits. That is not the wholesome, useful estrangement prescribed by the Law; it is harmful resentment that yields no correction and no benefit.
If the estrangement works and the wife reforms, all is well; otherwise the matter may proceed to a light, non-injurious strike. Should this achieve its purpose and she return to obedience and abandon disobedience, the husband must resume gracious companionship with her and has no right to harm her further, for she has returned to what is right. This is the remedy for every sinner and offender: the Lawgiver promises that when a wrongdoer abandons his crime, all his private and public rights are restored—just as with one who repents of oppression, highway robbery, and the like. How much more, then, when the relationship is between a husband and his wife!
From this verse and others akin to it we learn a valuable lesson: whoever has come back to the truth should refrain from dredging up past matters, for that is likelier to keep him firm upon the desired course. Recalling former issues may rekindle ill feeling, the malady may relapse, and the situation may become worse than it was before.