He—exalted be He—also says: “But if you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed abundant good” (Qur’an 4:19). In other words, O husbands, you ought to keep your wives even when you feel aversion toward them, for doing so contains many benefits:
• First: you thereby comply with the command of Allah and His Messenger, and in that lies happiness in this world and the next.
• Second: by forcing yourself and striving against your own inclinations despite a lack of fondness for your wife, you train your soul to adopt noble character.
• Third: the aversion may fade and be replaced by love.
• Fourth: the very causes that made you dislike her may themselves disappear.
• Fifth: through her you may be granted a righteous child who will benefit his parents in this life and the Hereafter.

Such aversion must stem from certain traits in the wife; therefore, if he dislikes one aspect of her character, he should weigh it against her other qualities and the other legitimate aims she fulfills. Setting one against the other is the hallmark of fairness and sound judgment. The rash, impulsive man who lacks any sense of equity fixes on one selfish desire; and when that desire is not met, he disregards all her other virtues and merits. Hardly anyone in his life will then remain acceptable to him—neither wife, nor companion, nor loved one—for he is fickle and quick to change.

By contrast, the prudent, loyal, intelligent man weighs matters, honors prior rights, remains true to past favors, and lets his appreciation of virtues outweigh his notice of faults. Should he reach the lofty station attained only by a few of the most complete men, he keeps the virtues constantly before his eyes, wholly overlooks the faults, and pardons them for Allah’s sake and in loyalty to the person concerned.