Second: that the obligation applies to any two relatives between whom inheritance can take place. The proponents of this view argue from the Prophet’s words, “Then those who are next to you, then those who are next to you,” holding that the exhortation is to give priority to the nearest of kin, and the nearest in this context are the heirs.
Third: that it encompasses the whole body of relatives, without regard to whether marriage between them is unlawful or whether they may inherit from one another.
This is a weighty opinion; nevertheless, the form and extent of maintaining ties and showing kindness vary according to how close or distant the relationship is, as well as according to one’s means and the other party’s need.
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True maintenance of kinship and dutifulness is not realized with the relative who already reciprocates through visits, kindness, gifts, and the like; such a person is merely a “reciprocator.”
Al-Bukhari records (5991) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The one who truly maintains is not the one who simply reciprocates; rather, the true maintainer is the one who keeps the tie when his kinsman has cut him off.”
This indicates that the genuinely praiseworthy form of maintaining ties is to reach out to the relative who has severed you; that is the complete degree, though the first type—reciprocal kindness—is also commendable.
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Thus, relatives fall into three ranks:
– the joiner (wāṣil),
– the reciprocator (mukāfiʾ),
– the severer (qāṭiʿ). -
Muslim narrates (2558) from Abu Hurayrah that “a man said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives whom I maintain, yet they cut me off; I treat them well, but they mistreat me; I am patient with them, but they behave ignorantly toward me.’ The Prophet replied, ‘If you are as you say, it is as though you are feeding them hot ashes, and you will continue to have a helper from Allah against them for as long as you remain in that state.’”
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Imam al-Nawawi explained the hadith, saying: “By treating them kindly you grieve them and belittle them in their own eyes; for your abundant goodness, set against the ugliness of their conduct, leaves them feeling disgrace and humiliation, like one forced to swallow hot ashes. Al-mell is the heated ash in which bread is buried so that it may bake.”