1003 – Rāfiʿ ibn Sinān (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he embraced Islam while his wife refused to do so. The Prophet ﷺ seated the mother on one side and the father on the other, then placed the child between them. The child first leaned toward his mother, so the Prophet supplicated, “O Allah, guide him.” The child then leaned toward his father, and the father took him. Reported by Abū Dāwūd and al-Nasāʾī, and al-Ḥākim declared it authentic. (1)

Hadith grading:
The hadith is ḥasan (good). Al-Talkhīṣ states: “It was narrated by Aḥmad, al-Nasāʾī, Abū Dāwūd, Ibn Mājah, and al-Dāraquṭnī from Rāfiʿ ibn Sinān, but its chain shows considerable variation and the wording differs.” Ibn al-Mundhir said, “The authorities on transmission do not deem it firmly established; its isnād is open to critique.” Nevertheless, al-Ḥākim and Ibn al-Qaṭṭān authenticated it through the route of ʿAbd al-Ḥamīd ibn Jaʿfar, whose narrators are reliable.

Points derived from the two hadiths:
1 – The scholars are unanimously agreed that custody belongs to the mother so long as she has not remarried; she is given priority over the father because of her superior care, protection, experience, patience, and endurance in looking after the child.
2 – When the child reaches the age of discernment and can manage many affairs on his own, the mother and father become equal in their right to his custody. The child is then given the choice between his father and his mother, and whichever of them he chooses takes him.