Upon reflection, the very use of the word “mother” indicates that a wet-nurse does not become a woman forbidden for marriage unless she has suckled the child to an extent that entitles her to that maternal designation. Motherhood applies only to the woman who actually gives birth, or to one whose bodily substance—her milk—has become part of the child’s body. This cannot occur through a mere token suckling; it requires a substantial amount whereby the milk is assimilated into the child’s body. Because that precise quantity is unknown, we must defer to the Lawgiver’s own standard. The ḥadiths revolve around this rationale: the nursing must satisfy hunger, open the intestines, strengthen the bones, promote flesh, take place within the first two years, and the nursing of an adult carries no legal weight—all for the sake of that underlying cause.
Accordingly, there is no conflict between the verse and the ḥadith. The ḥadith determines the quantity, while the Noble Quran calls the nurse “mother,” as in: “your mothers who have suckled you” (Quran 4:23). Motherhood is realized only by the amount set out in the ḥadith, showing that the view of the two Imams—al-Shāfiʿī and Aḥmad—is the sound one. Allah knows best.
Benefits
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Imām al-Shāfiʿī, the second reported view of Imām Aḥmad, and the choice of Ibn al-Qayyim, our teacher ʿAbd al-Raḥmān al-Saʿdī, and others hold that a suckling is not counted unless it constitutes a full feeding for the infant, like an ordinary meal or drink.
If the child lets go of the breast to breathe or is shifted from one breast to the other, this is not regarded as a separate suckling, even though the better-known position in the Ḥanbalī school counts it as such.
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The Permanent Committee for Fatwa stated: “Withdrawing blood from a man and injecting it into a woman does not create the marital prohibition, no matter how much blood is involved, unlike the prohibition produced by nursing. The same ruling applies if a man is injected with a woman’s blood; each may lawfully marry the other.”
Shaykh Muḥammad ibn Ibrāhīm likewise said: “Transferring blood from a man to a woman or vice versa is not called nursing—neither linguistically, nor conventionally, nor in the Sharīʿah—and none of the rulings of nursing apply to it.”
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As for those prohibited through nursing: whatever is forbidden through lineage is likewise forbidden through nursing.