and it therefore counts as nothing more than a voluntary donation.
Khulʿ is governed by the five well-known legal rulings:
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It is disliked when the marital relationship is sound and no disagreement or discord exists. The Five Compilers except al-Nasāʾī relate from Thawbān that the Prophet ﷺ said, “Any woman who asks her husband for divorce without a legitimate cause is forbidden the fragrance of Paradise.”
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It is unlawful and invalid if the husband forces her into it by restricting her, withholding her rights, or otherwise harming her so that she will ransom herself. In such a case the khulʿ is void, the compensation must be returned, and the marriage remains intact unless the word divorce was expressly used. Allah, Exalted is He, says: “Do not mistreat them in order to take back part of what you have given them” (Q 4:19).
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It is recommended for the husband to comply with her request. Al-Bukhārī reports from Ibn ʿAbbās that “the wife of Thābit ibn Qays came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, ‘Messenger of Allah, I do not fault Thābit in his religion or his character, but I dislike falling into unbelief after entering Islam.’ He asked, ‘Will you return his garden to him?’ She replied, ‘Yes.’ So he ordered her to return it and ordered him to separate from her.”
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It becomes obligatory when the husband sees in her something that obliges him to part from her—such as manifest lewdness, the abandonment of an obligatory act like prayer or fasting, and the like. In that circumstance he is permitted to hold her back so that she ransoms herself, for Allah says: “Do not mistreat them in order to take back part of what you have given them, unless they commit a clear act of indecency” (Q 4:19).
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It is permissible for the wife to seek khulʿ if she dislikes her husband’s character or fears sin by neglecting his rights. If he loves her, however, it is recommended that she exercise patience and not leave him. And Allah knows best.