It is related in some reports that the Prophet ﷺ said to a man who had withdrawn from the company saying, “I am fasting”: “Your brother has invited you and taken trouble on your behalf; eat, and then make up a day of fasting if you wish.”
This detailed distinction is the position of the Shafiʿis and Hanbalis. Shaykh Taqi al-Din declared it to be the fairest of the views.
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The walimah on the first day is obligatory; on the second day it is a recommended sunnah; while on the third day it becomes mere show and self-advertisement and is therefore forbidden. Accordingly, the invitee must answer on the first day, subject to the conditions mentioned earlier; it is recommended to do so on the second; and it is unlawful on the third. This is the view of the majority of scholars.
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It is recommended that the invitee supplicate for the host with words that suit the occasion, expressing joy and congratulation, delighting him with good wishes and hopeful tidings. Such supplication is part of the blessing of attending and gathering together, for the purpose of attendance is not simply to eat. Were it otherwise, the fasting person would not have been commanded to attend. Rather, what is intended are its wholesome meanings and its blessed fellowship.
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The well-known view in the school is that the wedding banquet becomes obligatory once the marriage contract is concluded, whereas Shaykh Taqi al-Din held that it is recommended upon consummation. Al-Insaf states: “The preferable position is that the time of recommendation is broad—beginning with the contract of marriage and lasting until the close of the wedding days—because sound narrations support both points.”
Resolution of the Council of Senior Scholars on extravagance in banquets
Resolution no. 52 of the Council of Senior Scholars, dated 4 / 4 / 1397 AH, contains the following statement on this matter:
“Do not squander wastefully. Surely the squanderers are brothers of Satan, and Satan has ever been ungrateful to his Lord.” (Quran 17:26–27)