465 – Aḥmad ibn Ibrāhīm narrated to us; Manṣūr ibn Bishr narrated to me; Shuʿayb ibn Ṣafwān narrated to us, from Muḥammad ibn Marwān ibn Abān ibn ʿUthmān ibn ʿAffān, from someone who heard Muzāḥim, who said:

I said to ʿUmar ibn ʿAbd al-ʿAzīz, “I have noticed a shortcoming among your household.” He answered, “O Muzāḥim, is what I give them not enough—together with the share they receive from the distributions made to the Muslims out of the fayʾ, along with what comes from ʿUmar’s own property?”

I replied, “But how far does that go for them, given what they see around them and their obligations of hospitality and clothing for their wives? By Allah, I fear they may be struck by hardship.”

ʿUmar said, “Something smolders within our souls. I remember myself in Medina, a boy among boys; then my heart longed for knowledge, for Arabic eloquence, and for poetry, and I took from that what I wanted. Next my soul yearned for authority, and I was appointed over Medina. While holding office, my soul then craved women and a comfortable life, and I knew of no one in Medina—whether of my family or anyone else—who lived as I did. After that my soul ⦗652⦘ turned toward the Hereafter and toward acting with justice, and I hope to attain what my soul now longs for concerning my Afterlife. I am not the man who would ruin his Hereafter for the sake of their worldly life.”