and she finds it almost impossible to endure his absence or to lose him. Such an outcome is among the most far-fetched of impossibilities. What is certain—and what must prevail—is the ruling of Allah and His Messenger: the child belongs to the mother, whether the father travels or stays. The Prophet ﷺ said, “You have a stronger claim to him so long as you do not remarry.” So how can anyone say, “You have a stronger claim to him so long as the father does not travel”? Where is that found in the Book of Allah, in the Sunnah of His Messenger ﷺ, in the legal opinions of his Companions, or in sound analogy? There is no scriptural text, no valid analogy, and no genuine benefit to support it.” End quote.

As for giving the boy a choice between his two parents, that applies once he reaches seven years of age. When he turns seven and is of sound mind, he is asked to choose between them, and he stays with whichever of the two he selects. This was the verdict of ʿUmar and ʿAlī (may Allah be pleased with them both).

Al-Tirmidhī and others relate a report from Abū Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): A woman came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, “My husband wants to take my son away.” He said, “Young man, here is your father and here is your mother—take the hand of whichever one you wish.” So the boy took hold of his mother’s hand, and she departed with him. This hadith shows that when a boy can manage on his own, he is given the choice between his parents; once he reaches an age at which he can express himself and inclines toward one of them, that proves the chosen parent is the kinder and more compassionate toward him, and thus is given precedence.

The child is not offered this choice except under two conditions:

1. Both parents must be legally entitled to custody.
2. The boy must be of sound intellect. If he is mentally impaired, he remains with the mother, for she is the more compassionate and better able to look after his interests.