“…If the spouses separate and they have a young child or one who is mentally incapacitated, the mother has the strongest claim to the child’s care, provided she satisfies the necessary conditions, whether the child is male or female. This is the position of Mālik and the jurists of Iraq, and we know of no one who disagreed with them.”

Should the mother marry, custody passes to someone else and her right to it lapses. This is based on the Prophet’s statement—peace and blessings be upon him—when a woman came to him and said, “Messenger of Allah, this son of mine: my womb was his vessel, my breast his source of drink, and my lap his refuge. Now his father has divorced me and wants to take him away.” He replied, “You have a stronger claim to him so long as you do not remarry.” The ḥadīth is related by Aḥmad, Abū Dāwūd, and al-Ḥākim, who declared it sound. The report clearly shows that the mother has the superior right to her child’s custody when the father divorces her and seeks to remove the child, and that her right lapses once she remarries.

The mother is given priority because she is more compassionate toward the child and closer to him. No one shares that closeness except the father, yet he does not possess the same tenderness, nor does he usually look after the child himself; instead, he entrusts the child to his wife, whereas the mother is more entitled to the child than the father’s wife. Ibn ʿAbbās once said to a man, “Her scent, her bed, and her lap are better for him than you are until he grows up and can choose for himself.”

Shaykh al-Islām Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The mother is more suitable than the father, because she is more closely attached to the child, better informed about feeding him, carrying him, putting him to sleep, handing things to him, and she knows him better and is more merciful toward him. She is therefore more capable, more knowledgeable, and more patient in this matter, so she is uniquely designated with respect to the child rather…”