they would not have felt compelled to do so; it is simply one of the inevitable results of imitation. Instead, direct the household to the Feast prescribed by Allah and His Messenger, and grant them on that occasion the rights that will dispel their longing for anything else. If they are still not satisfied, then there is no power and no might except with Allah. Whoever angers his family for the sake of Allah, Allah will make him—and them—content.
Let the sensible person beware of yielding to women in this matter. In the two Ṣaḥīḥs it is narrated from Usāmah ibn Zayd that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “I have not left behind me any trial more harmful to men than women.”
Indeed, the ruin of most realms and states comes from obeying women. In Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Abū Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A people who place their affairs in the hands of a woman will never prosper.”
(1) Manuscript B reads: “wala dhalik” (nor that).
(2) Manuscript A reads: “ghadab” (anger).
(3) The printed edition alone adds: “ala ummati” (“against my community”).
(4) Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Marriage, chapter “What is to be avoided of a woman’s ill-omen,” hadith no. 5096 (Fath al-Bari, 9/137); and Sahih Muslim, Book of Heart-Softening Narrations, chapter “Most of the people of Paradise are the poor and most of the people of Hell are women, and the trial posed by women,” hadith no. 2740 (4/2097).
(5) Manuscripts C and D read: “al-milal wa-l-duwal” (sects and dynasties).
(6) This is the Companion Nufayʿ ibn al-Harith ibn Kalada ibn Amr al-Thaqafi, who embraced Islam at Taif during the Prophet’s siege, settled in Basra, and died there in 52 AH; see Usd al-Ghaba, 5/151, and Taqrib al-Tahdhib, 2/306, no. 139.
(7) All manuscript witnesses read: “la aflaḥ” (“will never prosper”), whereas both the Bukhari recension and the printed edition follow the wording adopted here.
(8) Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Tribulations, chapter 18, hadith no. 7099 (Fath al-Bari, 13/53).