I would set out each morning to get myself ready to travel with them, yet I accomplished nothing. I kept telling myself, “I can do it whenever I wish.” This procrastination continued until the people pressed on in earnest. Morning came, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and the Muslims with him were already on their way, and I had completed none of my outfit. I said to myself, “I will equip myself in a day or two and then catch up with them.”

So, after they had marched out, I went the next morning to prepare, but returned having done nothing. I went again and came back with nothing done. That kept happening until they had advanced swiftly and the expedition had moved far ahead. I even thought of mounting to catch up with them—would that I had!—but that was not decreed for me.

Whenever I went out among the people, it pained me to see no one except a man openly branded as a hypocrite or someone whom Allah had excused because of weakness. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ never mentioned me until he reached Tabuk. While sitting with the people he asked, “What has become of Kaʿb?” A man of Banū Salimah replied, “Messenger of Allah, his fine garments and his habit of admiring himself have held him back.” Muʿādh ibn Jabal retorted, “What an evil thing you have said! By Allah, Messenger of Allah, we know nothing about him but good.”

When news reached me that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was on his way back from Tabuk, my anxiety returned. I began to think of inventing a lie, asking myself, “How will I escape his displeasure tomorrow?” I sought the advice of every sensible person among my family. Yet when it was said that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was about to arrive, falsehood slipped away from me; I realized I could never be delivered by any lie, so I resolved to speak the truth.

The Prophet ﷺ arrived the next morning. Whenever he returned from a journey, he would first go to the mosque, pray two units of prayer there, and then sit to receive the people. When he had done so, those who had stayed behind came forward, offering excuses and swearing oaths to him—some eighty-odd men. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ accepted their outward declarations, took their pledge, sought forgiveness for them, and left their inner secrets to Allah.

Then I came to him. When I greeted him, he smiled the smile of one who is angry and said, “Come here.” I walked up and sat before him. He asked, “What kept you back? Did you not buy a mount?” I replied, “Indeed, O Messenger of Allah. By Allah, had I sat…"