‘do not leave. You—yes, you—have been my affliction. By Allah, were I able to begin this affair anew with the knowledge I have now, I would not have brought a single one of you with me. If it were not for you, for whom would this table be set, the carpets spread, and the stipends ⦗1⦘ disbursed?’
I wrote to him, informing him of what ʿAbd Allāh had conveyed, and he replied in his own handwriting:
‘May Allah grant you a good end and protect you from every disliked and dreaded thing. What moved me to write to you—those very words I told ʿAbd Allāh, that none of you should come to me—was my hope that mention of me might cease and my name fade away ⦗2⦘. When you are here my reputation spreads, people gather around you and pass on our news, and all of it is good. Therefore, if you remain there and neither you nor your brother comes to me, that is what pleases me. Let there be nothing in your heart but goodwill. Peace be upon you.’
He said: When we set out, the table, the carpets, and everything that had been laid out for us were removed.
Ṣāliḥ continued: Al-Mutawakkil sent my father one thousand dinars for him to distribute. ʿAlī ibn al-Jahm came to him in the depth of night and informed him that he was preparing a river-barge (ḥarrāqah) for him. Then ʿUbayd Allāh arrived with another thousand dinars, saying, ‘The Commander of the Believers has granted you leave and ordered this for you.’
My father said, ‘The Commander of the Believers has excused me from what I dislike.’
He returned the money and added, ‘I am sensitive to the cold; travelling by day is easier for me.’
A travel permit (jawāz) was written for him, and a letter was dispatched to Muḥammad ibn ʿAbd Allāh, instructing him to show kindness to him and look after him.
He then came to us and said, ‘O Ṣāliḥ!’
I replied, ‘At your service.’
He said, ‘I would like you to forgo this stipend, for you take it only on my account.’
I remained silent, whereupon he asked, ‘What is the matter with you?’
I said, ‘I dislike pledging something to you with my tongue and then acting contrary to it. No one among the people has more dependants than I, so I would not be excused. I used to complain to you, and you would say, “Your affair is bound up with mine,” and perhaps Allah will loosen this knot of mine. You used to pray for me, and I hope that Allah has answered your supplication.’
He said, ‘By Allah, you will not do so!’
I replied, ‘No.’
He said, ‘Why not?—May Allah deal with you as He wills!’