from his father:
When Umm Salamah’s waiting period (ʿidda) had elapsed, Abu Bakr proposed to her, but she refused; then ʿUmar proposed, and she refused. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ then sent her a proposal. She said, “Welcome! But tell the Messenger of Allah that I am a woman of strong jealousy, I am a mother of small children (1), and none of my guardians is present.”
He sent back word: “As for your saying that you have small children, Allah will suffice you concerning them. As for your saying that you are jealous, I shall pray that Allah removes your jealousy. And as for the guardians, there is not one of them who will not be pleased with me.”
She said, “ʿUmar, rise and conclude my marriage to the Messenger of Allah.”
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ also said, “Rest assured, I shall not reduce anything of what I have given to So-and-so …” — the remainder of the report (2).
ʿAbd Allah ibn Numayr said: Abu Hayyan al-Taymi narrated to us, from Ḥabib ibn Abi Thabit, who said:
Umm Salamah related, “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ came to me, spoke to me while a curtain stood between us, and proposed marriage to me. I said, ‘What do you wish of me? I say this only out of reluctance to marry, for indeed I…’”
(1) ghayra: a woman who is extremely jealous; musbiya: a woman who already has small children.
(2) The full wording of the report continues: “two millstones, two water-skins, and a leather cushion stuffed with palm-fibre. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to visit her; whenever he entered, she would pick up Zaynab, place her in her lap, and begin nursing her. Out of his great modesty and generosity, the Messenger of Allah would feel shy and withdraw. This happened several times until Ammar ibn Yasir realised what she was doing. One day the Prophet came while Ammar—her maternal half-brother—was present; he entered, snatched the child from her lap and said, ‘Leave this ill-favoured, split-nosed girl with whom you have inconvenienced the Messenger of Allah.’ The Prophet then came in, looked around the house and said, ‘Where is Zinab? What has Zinab done?’ She replied, ‘Ammar came and took her away.’ The Messenger of Allah then consummated the marriage with his wife and said, ‘If you wish, I can allot you seven nights as I do for the other wives.’
Reported by Ibn Saʿd 8/90; Ahmad 6/313, 314, 317; and al-Nasaʾi 6/81-82 in the Book of Marriage, chapter “A son contracting his mother’s marriage.” Its chain of transmission is sound, as al-Hafiz stated in al-Isaba 13/223; it was also authenticated by Ibn Hibban (no. 1282) and by al-Hakim 4/17, with al-Dhahabi concurring.