Al-Sharḥ al-Mumtiʿ - Ibn al-'Uthaymin - (13/11)

Al-Sharḥ al-MumtiʿIbn al-'Uthaymin

harmful to her and detrimental to her health. It may therefore be said that he should regard himself as a therapist and physician in this matter: if he sees that her welfare requires him to divorce her, then he should divorce her.

But if she is distressed with him because of his limited means—for instance, if he is poor while she comes from a wealthy family, and he sees that she is troubled by his poverty—then we say that it is recommended for him to consult her, just as Allah commanded His Prophet, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, saying:

“O Prophet, say to your wives, ‘If you desire the life of this world and its adornment, then come: I will provide for you and release you graciously. But if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter, then indeed Allah has prepared for the doers of good among you a great reward.’” [al-Ahzab]

The first wife with whom he began was Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, and she was the youngest of them. The Prophet, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him and his family, feared that, due to her youth, she might choose the life of this world. So he said, “You should consult your parents about this matter.” That is, “Consult your parents regarding this matter.” She replied, “O Messenger of Allah, is this something about which I should consult my parents?! I desire Allah and the abode of the Hereafter.” (1) May Allah be pleased with her.

In short, if the reason is the man’s limited means, his poor treatment of her, or something similar—for some people are foolish and ill-tempered—then we consider it appropriate for him to consult her. But if the reason lies with her herself, then we consider that, in this case, he should regard himself as an attending physician and consider what the welfare of the situation requires.

(1) Narrated by al-Bukhari in al-Mazalim (Wrongs and Injustices), chapter: “The Room and the Upper Chamber” (2468), and by Muslim in al-Talaq (Divorce), chapter: “Clarification that Giving One’s Wife the Choice Does Not Constitute Divorce Except with Intention” (1475), on the authority of Aishah.

ضرراً عليها وهدماً لصحتها، فقد يقال: إنه يجعل المسألة من جهته هو على أنه معالج وطبيب، وإذا رأى أن مصلحتها تقتضي أن يطلقها طلقها. ولو تضجرت منه لقلة ذات اليد، كإنسان فقير، وهي ـ مثلاً ـ من بيت أغنياء، ورأى أن المرأة متضجرة من فقره، فهنا نقول: يستحب أن يشاورها، مثل ما أمر الله نبيه ﵊ في قوله: ﴿يَاأَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لأَِزْوَاجِكَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتَهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ وَأُسَرِّحْكُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَمِيلاً *وَإِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالدَّارَ الآخِرَةَ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَدَّ لِلْمُحْسِنَاتِ مِنْكُنَّ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا *﴾ [الأحزاب]، فأول من بدأ بها عائشة ﵂ وهي أصغرهن، وخاف ـ صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم ـ أنها لصغرها تريد الحياة الدنيا، فقال: «ما عليك ألا تستأذني أبويك في هذا»، أي: شاوري أبويك في هذا الأمر ـ فقالت: يا رسول الله أفي هذا أشاور أبوي؟! إني أريد الله والدار الآخرة (١)، ﵂. فالمهم إذا كان السبب هو قلة ذات يد الرجل، أو سوء عشرته، أو ما أشبه ذلك؛ لأن بعض الناس يكون أحمق ضيق النفس، فهذه نرى أنه يشاورها، وأما إذا كان ذلك لسبب فيها هي فنرى أنه ينزل نفسه في هذه الحال منزلة الطبيب المعالج، وينظر ما تقتضيه المصلحة.

(١) أخرجه البخاري في المظالم/ باب الغرفة والعُلِّيَّة … (٢٤٦٨)، ومسلم في الطلاق/ باب بيان أن تخييره امرأته لا يكون طلاقاً إلا بالنية (١٤٧٥) عن عائشة ﵂.