It has been said that if the wrongdoing is on her part, she and her husband should live near a trustworthy and reliable man, who can observe the situation and determine which of them has wronged the other.

But this is not correct, for two reasons:

First, this is mentioned neither in the Quran nor in the sunnah.

Second, regardless of how closely he observes them, he cannot, for example, be with them in their private room; thus, this measure is of no benefit.

However, Allah, Most High, has mentioned a method for this in the Quran: “If you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family” [al-Nisa’ 4:35]—that is, from his relatives and from her relatives. The matter is important, because the address is directed to the entire Muslim community, out of concern for this matter. The whole community is responsible for these two spouses when they are in dispute. Islam does not want conflict to arise between anyone.

An arbiter must be knowledgeable of the Sacred Law and knowledgeable of the circumstances; that is, he must possess experience and trustworthiness. This is why it is important for a judge to be acquainted with the circumstances of the people among whom he judges. An arbiter must possess integrity, so that we may be safe from injustice; and he must be knowledgeable of both the Sacred Law and the circumstances.

Regarding these two arbiters, it has been said that they are agents of the spouses. According to this view, the woman must appoint her relative as her agent, and the man must appoint his relative.

It has also been said that they are independent arbiters, able to do whatever they see fit: to reconcile the spouses or separate them, with or without compensation.

The apparent meaning of the Quran supports the second view: that they are independent arbiters, for it did not