Thus, he should first admonish her. If she responds to admonition, that is better than her responding to a threat—that is, better than his saying, “Set yourself right, or I will divorce you,” as some ignorant people do. You find him threatening her with divorce, unaware, poor man, that this will only make her more averse to her husband, as though she were a sheep: if he wishes, he sells her; and if he wishes, he keeps her. Rather, the sound approach is to admonish her and remind her of the verses of Allah, Exalted is He, so that she submits in compliance with Allah’s command. If she complies and returns to obedience, then that is what is sought. Otherwise, the author says:

“If she persists, he may forsake her in bed for as long as he wishes, and in speech for three days. If she persists, he may strike her without severity, ...”

His statement, “If she persists, he may forsake her in bed for as long as he wishes,” means that he may leave her in bed for as long as he wishes, due to Allah’s saying: “And forsake them in their beds” [al-Nisa: 34]. No limit has been specified. This is the second stage. Forsaking her in bed takes one of three forms:

First: not sleeping in her chamber, and this is the most severe.

Second: not sleeping with her on the bed, and this is less severe than the first.

Third: sleeping with her on the bed, but turning his back to her and not speaking to her; this is the least severe.

He begins with the least severe, then proceeds to what is more severe, because when the aim is to repel, one must begin with the easiest means, then proceed to what is more difficult. As we said regarding an assailant: one does not resort to killing him at the outset; rather, one repels him by the easiest means, then by what is more forceful. If he cannot be repelled except by killing, then he is killed.

His statement, “for as long as he wishes,” is not unrestricted; rather, what is meant is that he forsake her