Al-Sharḥ al-Mumtiʿ - Ibn al-'Uthaymin - (12/382)

Al-Sharḥ al-MumtiʿIbn al-'Uthaymin

has called the husband a master, saying—Exalted is He—in Surat Yusuf: “And they both found her master at the door.” [Yusuf 12:25] And the Prophet ﷺ described the wife as a captive, saying: “Fear Allah concerning women, for they are captives in your care.” (1) The term ʿawānin is the plural of ʿāniyah, meaning a captive woman.

In any case, whoever wishes to live a happy, peaceful, and tranquil life must live with his wife in kindness; and the same applies to the wife in her conduct with her husband. Otherwise, matters will fall apart and life will become miserable. This also affects the children: when children see problems between their mother and father, they will be pained and distressed; but when they see affection between them, they will be pleased. So, my brother, treat your wife with kindness.

For this reason, the author said:

“Both spouses are required to live together in kindness.” The phrase “are required” means that it is obligatory; “both spouses” means the man and the woman; and “living together” is the subject of the verb—that is, living together in kindness, according to what is recognized by the Sacred Law and by customary practice. This is due to Allah’s saying: “Live with them in kindness.” [al-Nisa 4:19] This is a command, and the basic principle concerning a command is that it denotes obligation. He also says: “Women have rights similar to those against them, according to what is fair.” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

Thus, He established that they have obligations of marital companionship. It is therefore obligatory upon both the husband and the wife, each of them, to treat the other in kindness.

His statement, “in kindness,” may mean that which the Sacred Law recognizes and approves, or it may mean that which people customarily practice and recognize. It is possible to

(1) Reported by al-Tirmidhi in al-Rada' (Breastfeeding), chapter: What Has Been Reported Regarding a Wife's Rights over Her Husband, no. 1163; and by Ibn Majah in al-Nikah (Marriage), chapter: A Wife's Right over Her Husband, no. 1851, on the authority of Amr ibn al-Ahwas. Al-Tirmidhi said: “A sound, authentic hadith.”

سمَّى الزوج سيداً، فقال ﷿ في سورة يوسف: ﴿وَأَلْفَيَا سَيِّدَهَا لَدَى الْبَابِ﴾ [يوسف: ٢٥]، ولأن النبي ﷺ سمى الزوجة أسيرة فقال: «اتقوا الله في النساء فإنهن عوانٍ عندكم» (١) «وعوانٍ» جمع عانية وهي الأسيرة. فعلى كل حال الواجب على الإنسان إذا كان يحب أن يحيا حياة سعيدة، مطمئنة، هادئة أن يعاشر زوجته بالمعروف، وكذلك بالنسبة للزوجة مع زوجها، وإلا ضاعت الأمور، وصارت الحياة شقاء، ثم هذا ـ أيضاً ـ يؤثر على الأولاد، فالأولاد إذا رأوا المشاكل بين أمهم وأبيهم سوف يتألمون وينزعجون، وإذا رأوا الألفة فسيسَرُّون، فعليك يا أخي بالمعاشرة بالمعروف. ولهذا قال المؤلف: «يلزم الزوجين العشرة بالمعروف»، «يلزم» بمعنى يجب و «الزوجين» الرجل والمرأة «العشرة» فاعل يلزم يعني المعاشرة بالمعروف، أي: بما يعرف شرعاً، وعرفاً؛ لقوله تعالى: ﴿وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾ [النساء: ١٩] وهذا أمر، والأصل في الأمر الوجوب وقال: ﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾ [البقرة: ٢٢٨]. فأثبت أن عليهن عشرة، فيجب على الزوج والزوجة، كل منهما أن يعاشر الآخر بالمعروف. وقوله: «بالمعروف» يحتمل أن المراد به ما عرفه الشرع وأقره، ويحتمل أن المراد به ما اعتاده الناس وعرفوه، ويمكن أن

(١) أخرجه الترمذي في الرضاع/ باب ما جاء في حق المرأة على زوجها (١١٦٣)؛ وابن ماجه في النكاح/ باب حق المرأة على الزوج (١٨٥١) عن عمرو بن الأحوص ﵁ وقال الترمذي: «حديث حسن صحيح».