with its lower leg and thigh upright, so that he does not settle himself too comfortably and consequently eat too much; or he may sit cross-legged. However, Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, stated in Zad al-Ma‘ad that sitting cross-legged is disliked and falls under the Prophet’s saying, “I do not eat while reclining.” (1) He explained this by saying that one who sits cross-legged is more settled, and may therefore eat a great deal.

The answer to this is that the hadith does not indicate that. Sitting cross-legged is not reclining, and whether a person eats more when sitting cross-legged depends on the individual. He may perhaps eat a great deal even if he sits on his left leg with his right leg raised. Thus, the apparent view is that sitting cross-legged is not disliked.

His statement: “One who eats with a group should not raise his hand before them, until they have had their fill”—this applies especially if he is the senior member of the group or the host. Do not get up before them, for if you rise before them, they may get up out of embarrassment even though they have not eaten their fill. Rather, be the last person to finish.

In the past, people would take this to the greatest extreme: if a boy among fifty men at the table got up, they would all get up. More recently, however, a person does not get up until he has eaten his fill. They refer to this custom as “Saudi,” because it is said that the first to establish it was King Abd al-Aziz, may Allah have mercy on him. Some people suggested to us in a gathering in Riyadh that it should be “Saudi” from beginning to end: when people come to the table, they do not begin until everyone has arrived and they are all present, and thus they are delayed considerably. So why not make it Saudi at the beginning, so that whoever sits down may eat?